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Not a sad rant

I've picked up what fell, too many times
So many, that I'm ready to pick things up again
So many, I'm almost sure they'll fall again.

I've been the one to throw them too
Used to feel that I'd do it again. 
Maybe I won't at all,
Because I'm tired of seeing it, 
Doing it, thinking about it.

It's not a sad rant about what fell
It's not something I used to care about
It's a process that only ever repeats.

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INSIDE OUT.

What you're telling me is, "it was wrong." I expect reasons. I know it was wrong. Probably isn't the first time But that let me down too much All at once No reasons to give. No truth to say. Nothing but mist. Mist is what you manifest. Manifestations are your lies. You and your lies. When would you see? What i have been seeing. I let go. Everytime. Not this time.

A new grey

There's a thought that's been flickering in my little head.  A thought I don't understand, but you seem to. No, it's not black and white. It's a new grey, I love. The greys you and I wear without a thought. You got dreams, I got some too. Goals, in my brownish eyes. I see you earn them. Some run while some walk, shoes of all kinds. "Everyone has their own pace, their own ways." I believe. But I look up in the sky that looks like love  The thought slows down on me, I feel it caressing my mind. We're a tiny speck of dust in this universe, A universe that has no end. A universe holding a million secrets, Unseen wonders, life and knowledge. What are you and I dreaming for? I'm hoping to fetch some peace, You're almost there. I know souls struggling to live another day, Some praying for forgiveness. World leaders fighting for truce. It runs deep, yet it's all empty and broken. Who can tell? What is the purpose of you and ...

Lost count

Been a few months since I'm feeling this way. Not sure I understand why,  Not sure if I should be feeling this at all. For days I wonder who I am, Lose track and jump ahead to who I wanna be. Funny how I crawl back to who I was.  Few hours pass by when I'm happy, proud. Talking to most of you, dancing in my head. Next one, man I'm just tired.  Tired, not of you but me.  Is it possible to not be me? Can I see me as you? Would I like me? Do you? And then I remember, it doesn't really matter. I sway along these thoughts and questions,  Worthless moments are suddenly all I'm thinking about.  I change myself too soon, so much I fail to recognise me.  It's then, that I question again.  Who am I? Whom do I wanna be? "Who I was" is what I'm staring at again. I've lost count.